What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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