She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Randomize
