I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Randomize
