That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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