You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
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