so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
