I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
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