idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
