People in love make me want to vomit
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize