Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
