i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize