So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
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