I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Randomize
