sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
Randomize
