where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
you inspire me to be a worse person
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
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