Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
