You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
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