OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Randomize