i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Randomize
