He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
I would ride that face into the sunset
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
Randomize
