I'd wear matching sweaters with you
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
Randomize
