I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
Randomize
