So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
