are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
