We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
How does one acquire holy water?
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
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