operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
Randomize
