hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
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