HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
