Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize