what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Randomize
