rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Randomize
