I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
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