This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
Randomize
