Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
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