Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Randomize