she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
They should really pass out barf bags in church
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
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