We're facebook friends in real life
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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