You're completely useless in the revolution.
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Randomize
