i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
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