your parents love me but you hate me
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Randomize
