According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
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