i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Randomize
