Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
Randomize
