whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Randomize
