i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
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