yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Randomize
