There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
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