think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Randomize
