Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
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the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
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Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
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