walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
Pants are for mortals
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
