He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
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