I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
Randomize
