Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
Randomize
