I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Randomize
