I wish life had little blips of pornography
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
It's just like the Real World with babies
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Randomize
