That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
Randomize
