you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
and you said cock pushups were impossible
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
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