i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Randomize
