yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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